Carol's Cancer Blog

Checking In

  I can't believe my last post was 1.5 years ago!  I SWEAR I sent one more recently... Old age I guess. :)  I logged in to read a few messages that I received notifications for.  Then, decided to try to follow up on some of you that I felt (and feel) very close to from spending my cancer journey with y'all.  Success with some, not with others.

The latter always scares me.....

  I left Sierra Vista, AZ one year ago this month (October) to live with my 94 y/o dad who refuses to leave his home in a TINY, RURAL, town in North Central Oregon (yes, I have siblings who ALREADY LIVE HERE... That is another story.  I will save y'all and not expound)  It took me two years to decide to take the leap.  A "LEAP" it has been, suffice it to say.  That said, in the past couple of months I feel that God has allowed me to relax a bit and adjust better.

  You all, even those who are new to me, are in my thoughts regularly and I send prayers upward, and positive vibes outward.  

xoxoxo,

Carol Phillips

 

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Carol, hello from El Paso! WHERE are you now in Oregon? Have relatives there and love to visit! And yes, relax and enjoy!!! HUGS
Carol likes this comment
Hi Carol - you have always been special to me! Thanks for helping me through my journey. I am so glad you have adjusted. I completely changed my life in the last 4 or 5 years and just can’t or won’t tolerate the stress and pressure! Maybe Iwe are getting wiser 😘😊
Carol likes this comment
Jana,
You are special to me too!!! :)
I have KIND OF "adjusted." However, a GS position came up where I used to work in Sierra Vista, AZ. I applied to two, different (one is Referrals, one is nursing. Same bldg) positions, and have had one interview. My co-workers (those who did not Mass Exodus last year due to...grief.. would like me back. So they say.
I feel that my self-induced obligation here (Oregon) is done. What can I say? I concur with your statement completely, regarding stress & pressure. My dad has four other kids, all of whom have always lived up here, but rarely bother to visit my dad and help around his home. I think a couple of them have been here 2-3 x in the 14 months I have been here. They live an hour away... So, !#U*#% it.
Anyway, I take care of my dad, his home, yard, and work part-time. MANY people do this... But, did their parent(s) move to THEM or did they move closer to their parent(s)?? Usually, it is the former. Unfortunately, my dad would not relocate to AZ (I would have picked him up and driven him down.)
No love lost for me up here. Is that bad?? (yes, I ask God to HELP me to "chill", on a daily basis!! Ha! Ha! Most days, lately, it works.) ; 0 Happy Holidays!!!
Great to hear what you are up to! Oregon sounds beautiful; would you rather be in a larger town & or warmer? are you a lifer there, or do you have future plans to move on eventually?
I'm not sure how well I'm settling in the smaller town I moved to a year ago, or if I will. I'll be watching for your answer to Helens question.
Hugs
Carol likes this comment
Easterly, A LARGER TOWN, most definitely!!!! Not huge though, because, due to my erratic "Loo" needs, the thought of being stuck in traffic, such as on I-5, scares the heck out of me It took me two years to make the decision to move. The closer to winter, the higher my stress level (my dad was alone in his home.) So, I finally did it. There have been some positives, reconnecting with old high school pals and a few new folks (related to people I used to know.) I am not a Social Butterfly. Working at the local grocery helped to get to know some locals.


I just don't have a strong connection with my family. We get along, but too many "bridges have burned", for me to every feel close to them. I feel MUCH closer to you all here, on BFAC, and my former co-workers (from various jobs over the years, too, actually. We keep in touch.)


I want to order a pizza for delivery. I want to be able to run to Target or a similar store. I want drive-thru ESPRESSO!!! LOL!!! Oh! Yeah...Easterly, actually, what is most important to me is my need for regular chiropractic and massage, to keep my muscle spasms under control and other pain. Currently, I have to drive >1 hour, on windy mountain roads, to get there. THAT is a big issue, since I can't go as often as I need to. Also, with my gut issues.. Any need would be Portland, likely.

Also, for my dad, who underwent a neck resection in 2018 (I flew up for that, 3x, 2wks at a time) for cancer. He is still in a trial. Immunotherapy. They stopped the immunotherapy last year, as it was a success (my dad is in his 90's!!!) However, the MD still monitors my dad every 3 months with labs and scans. I make my eldest sister take him. She always wants to be in charge anyway... Also, if he needs something medical, there is a local clinic here, but it is limited. Portland, 3 hrs away, is where the Oncologist, Cardiologist, and every-other-"gist" (LOL!) is located.


So, yes. A larger city. Hugs and Happy Holidays!!!
Easterly likes this comment
I know what you mean about family.
I wonder if your muscle spasms are from treatment; I find I have been in a lot of pain, started a year after treatment. I have thryoid issues (which add to pain)
You never know, they just put a Costco in 4 miles from me; plenty of business' are sure to follow. I think if I were in your dads position I would need to move back in town.
You are a great daughter! Take care of yourself!
Hugs!
Hello from Goodyear Arizona. I moved here 9 yrs ago to be closer to my parents and in-laws. It’s always so nice to hear that someone is doing great and at peace. 😊❤️
Carol likes this comment
Nicole. Thank you. Now, the pressure is on to be a good girl.

If I make it back to AZ next year (2023), maybe we can meet.
Hugs and Happy Holidays!
Nicole likes this comment
I would love that!!!!!!
I don't know anyone from Oregon so are u ok with the move? I heard it's beautiful country there.
Hi Carol! I can relate to taking care of an elderly parent and how challenging it can be, as my mom spent the last 3 years of her life in Georgia in assisted living near me. My heart goes out to you. It has to be even more challenging when you are the only caregiver. Please do not forget to take care of yourself. I hope you are in a beautiful area and can get out for a daily walk or anything that gives you a break from caregiving. Take care, my friend!
Hi Carol! Good to hear from you. We got diagnosed almost to the day the same year and thankfully, we're both still kicking! Sounds like you are adjusting well.
HI Carol, please come back and visit us. Our aging parents is a big deal at our age now, and theirs. Both ends of the spectrum- losing a parent, the other parent with health issues, at the same time trying to be a grandparents to preschoolers. What a juggle in life- in addition to our own cancer bugaboos that we hope stay away.
MGBY,
John
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Still Here

Wow!  My account has been wiped out, but I do see entries, that I can look back on.

I should have printed out my entire history here, years ago, but was never, "in the mood" to undertake such a task.I want it, for.. well, BECAUSE!

  I get notices but not, "Light A Candy;e" notices not that I WANT those, but, yeah, if someone passes.  I wonder now, because Sabina's (NY) last entry was 2017.  Bruce (FL surgery with tonsil or that CA,) was 2018. I sent private messages, no answer.  Does anyone know?

  I need to log on at least monthly.  I give this web address out occasionally, to patients.

Bless you all, prayers, and I'll write a medical update in a few days.  It might be long.  Nevertheless, I am blessed.❤️🙏🙃...Carol

 

Dale sent you a prayer.
6 people sent you a hug.
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Hi Carol! I'm glad to see you here!
I do see your blogs dating back to 2011; maybe it just a computer temporary thing.
I'll watch for you next posting.
Hugs
Lucky, Carol like this comment
Weird....
Hi Carol! Good to hear from you. Sabina is doing good. She is awaiting the birth of another Grandchild and enjoying the ones that she already has. Are you on FB? I hope you are doing well also. Still with the VA? 😘
Lucky, Maridel like this comment
Hi Carol, I see 182 posts. What is it you are missing?
Lucky likes this comment
I too can see all your posts. As Easterly said, probably a computer glitch. Have you tried restarting your computer or iPad and going back to the site? In any case it’s good to hear from you!
Helen Marshall, Carol like this comment
Glad to see you here.
Carol likes this comment
Happy birthday week +
Carol likes this comment
Happy Birthday, Carol! I hope all is well. Enjoy your special day!
Carol likes this comment
Hi Carol good to see you
I had the same issue!! But they R all back!
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Vital Info

Posts

February 24, 2011

Sierra Vista, Arizona

July 20, 1962

Cancer Info

Anal Cancer

squamous cell carcinoma of the anus

February 23, 2011

Stage 2

2.1 - 3.0 cm

Negative

Negative

No

No

Difficulty going to the bathroom; telling my kids. Worrying about how to pay for tx. Seeing all the young people here. Chronic stool incontinence..which keeps me from participating in certain exercises and, definately, avoiding group outings.

REALLY be a support for others/fight for my kids

Prayer, listen, feedback.

Orange Juice! (I craved it); steak; homemade vanilla pudding.

Patience, an ear, chocolate . . .

Western Washington Oncology 2011-2012. Switched to VA in 2013, to save $$.

If you have a choice, get a port. Exercise through treatment, if possible. It helps.

Take every day head on. Prayer, whatever, too.

May 19, 2011

October, 2011

No, as of 09/24/2017. However, a sigmoid polyp--1st one, was discovered and removed 06/2015.

Chronological order: Blood-tinged drainage for months, then heavy bleeding with BMs-which I "hoped", for months, would go away. A hard skin tag, change in stool appearance, increased difficulty defecating. PAIN!

I give to various charities: St. Jude's Children's Hospital and Ronald McDonald house,cancer charities; multiple fund-raisers. I am too tired and lazy to organize a fund-raiser. Mostly, my emotions are shot. Gone. Just...gone.

Stats

Posts: 183
Photos: 3
Events: 28
Supporters: 202
Friends: 212
Comments:
-Made: 1600
-Received: 2285
Views:
-Posts: 637496
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