Checking In
I can't believe my last post was 1.5 years ago! I SWEAR I sent one more recently... Old age I guess. :) I logged in to read a few messages that I received notifications for. Then, decided to try to follow up on some of you that I felt (and feel) very close to from spending my cancer journey with y'all. Success with some, not with others.
The latter always scares me.....
I left Sierra Vista, AZ one year ago this month (October) to live with my 94 y/o dad who refuses to leave his home in a TINY, RURAL, town in North Central Oregon (yes, I have siblings who ALREADY LIVE HERE... That is another story. I will save y'all and not expound) It took me two years to decide to take the leap. A "LEAP" it has been, suffice it to say. That said, in the past couple of months I feel that God has allowed me to relax a bit and adjust better.
You all, even those who are new to me, are in my thoughts regularly and I send prayers upward, and positive vibes outward.
xoxoxo,
Carol Phillips
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You are special to me too!!! :)
I have KIND OF "adjusted." However, a GS position came up where I used to work in Sierra Vista, AZ. I applied to two, different (one is Referrals, one is nursing. Same bldg) positions, and have had one interview. My co-workers (those who did not Mass Exodus last year due to...grief.. would like me back. So they say.
I feel that my self-induced obligation here (Oregon) is done. What can I say? I concur with your statement completely, regarding stress & pressure. My dad has four other kids, all of whom have always lived up here, but rarely bother to visit my dad and help around his home. I think a couple of them have been here 2-3 x in the 14 months I have been here. They live an hour away... So, !#U*#% it.
Anyway, I take care of my dad, his home, yard, and work part-time. MANY people do this... But, did their parent(s) move to THEM or did they move closer to their parent(s)?? Usually, it is the former. Unfortunately, my dad would not relocate to AZ (I would have picked him up and driven him down.)
No love lost for me up here. Is that bad?? (yes, I ask God to HELP me to "chill", on a daily basis!! Ha! Ha! Most days, lately, it works.) ; 0 Happy Holidays!!!
I'm not sure how well I'm settling in the smaller town I moved to a year ago, or if I will. I'll be watching for your answer to Helens question.
Hugs
I just don't have a strong connection with my family. We get along, but too many "bridges have burned", for me to every feel close to them. I feel MUCH closer to you all here, on BFAC, and my former co-workers (from various jobs over the years, too, actually. We keep in touch.)
I want to order a pizza for delivery. I want to be able to run to Target or a similar store. I want drive-thru ESPRESSO!!! LOL!!! Oh! Yeah...Easterly, actually, what is most important to me is my need for regular chiropractic and massage, to keep my muscle spasms under control and other pain. Currently, I have to drive >1 hour, on windy mountain roads, to get there. THAT is a big issue, since I can't go as often as I need to. Also, with my gut issues.. Any need would be Portland, likely.
Also, for my dad, who underwent a neck resection in 2018 (I flew up for that, 3x, 2wks at a time) for cancer. He is still in a trial. Immunotherapy. They stopped the immunotherapy last year, as it was a success (my dad is in his 90's!!!) However, the MD still monitors my dad every 3 months with labs and scans. I make my eldest sister take him. She always wants to be in charge anyway... Also, if he needs something medical, there is a local clinic here, but it is limited. Portland, 3 hrs away, is where the Oncologist, Cardiologist, and every-other-"gist" (LOL!) is located.
So, yes. A larger city. Hugs and Happy Holidays!!!
I wonder if your muscle spasms are from treatment; I find I have been in a lot of pain, started a year after treatment. I have thryoid issues (which add to pain)
You never know, they just put a Costco in 4 miles from me; plenty of business' are sure to follow. I think if I were in your dads position I would need to move back in town.
You are a great daughter! Take care of yourself!
Hugs!
If I make it back to AZ next year (2023), maybe we can meet.
Hugs and Happy Holidays!
MGBY,
John